After two years of Bob and I conducting our relationship via long distance, he lived in the Midlands and I live on the South Coast, Bob finally moved in and then we immediately went on holiday to go diving in Sharm el Sheikh in The Red Sea.
We have been back nearly two weeks and are still trying to find space for Bob’s things. Some of it has gone on E-bay and is still hanging around until it gets sold. If not, it will go to the charity shops where some of it has already gone. A home will need to be found for the rest, either in the loft or somewhere else.
I hate to admit that the current clutter is driving me to distraction, to put it mildly. While living on my own these last few years, I had realised a somewhat minimalist look to my home. After many years of living with children, I finally had the home I wanted, clutter free. I never envisaged sharing my new house with another person. I live in a two-bedroom house. I have everything in it that I need. I have considerably downsized from my move from London and have pretty much been paring down until I couldn’t pare down any more. I was comfortable in my space. Then I fell in love.
Compromise is not something that I have had to give much thought to in the last 10 years. However, when you share your life with others, it is something that needs to be considered now and again. It hasn’t been a walk in the park for Bob since he left his previous life, and all the comforts of a home that went with it, behind him. I want him to be happy and comfortable in his new home and so I made some space for him. Unfortunately, space is limited and so it is Bob’s turn to downsize. I need to be patient as I know how challenging it can be to part with one’s things. Sometimes the memory behind the thing can be more important than the thing itself.
I have had many years of clearing clutter and downsizing until most of what I currently own has very little personal history behind it and therefore not much personal attachment. Exceptions are my books, music and artwork. Starting over and changing your life can be quite a challenge for many people. Holding onto things that we are familiar with can help ease us into new situations, but there are times that we may be forced to part with items from our past because of limitations of space or circumstance.
So, I need to sit back, be patient, and let Bob go through the process of downsizing his possessions. Although it may be difficult for him to let go of some items he has had for nearly a lifetime, the upside will be that he will have more room in his life for new things and he will be able to create different memories. Since watching Bob go through his things, I have had another look at items in the loft and have had to reconsider that there is possibly more that I could give away too.
There are so many perks to be had by getting rid of things you don’t really need or no longer have any use for. The money we make from selling on E-bay will be going towards our Latin American Adventure! We will have less stuff to worry about!
This is a new start for both of us – to finally have the life we always wanted and dreamed of. We are dreaming big and packing lite! Start as you mean to carry on… 🙂